it's 10:00pm. you just woke up. your eyes are cloudy and you're wearing your girlfriends socks. you don't know where you are or why you're there. you start cleaning so that you can feel like you have a purpose but you don't care about anything. your sense of reality is faltering and the world doesn't really exist as you perceive it. everything is changing.
she is a self destructive addict. it doesn't matter what she's addicted to anymore as long as she can be addicted to something. her reality is hazier than even yours. you hate her, but she buys you things and puts a roof over your head with money that doesn't belong to her. it helps when you run out of the money that doesn't belong to you. she has every disease, disorder, and dysfunction you can imagine. each symptom is a stepping stone that takes her a little bit further inside her own mind. she emerges periodically, but she's getting close to permanent mental damage.
me, i'm an actress. i'm the biggest smile at school, i'm the funniest joke. i'm the model, the intelligent, the strongest girl in the world. i throw up lies everywhere i go. i put everyone in the palm of my hand, where i want them. they like me. but i'm more damaged than both of you. i'm the sickest, saddest life form around, encased safely in a spore of outward happiness. but i'm rotting in here.
how twisted we are, how sad that we exist. what god created us? and for fuck sake, why?
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