endless eternal enduring everlasting

well it just gets worse. i'm starting to feel really out of control. i used to have everything under control, for many years i thought i did, anyway. i guess it's beating me again. which means, i guess, i never really won. you know that old saying.. you may have won the battle, but the war is not over. that's my life. it doesn't fucking end. and it's never going to. how do i live with that?