you can't mean it twice

Yesterday I worked 7:30 - 5. I felt fine all day, tired, but fine. Roxanne met me at work so we could do some running around for Kitty Cat Keep, and then we went and did some grocery shopping together. While we were walking around I started to have a tummy ache a bit. I got home a little before 8, and by 8 I was throwing up and felt like I was dying. I threw up once or twice an hour for the rest of the night until about 7 this morning. Now I don't feel that sick anymore but my whole body is really achy. I'm also freezing. I was alone last night and I hate being alone when I'm sick, Justin called me twice because he wanted to come and take care of me but I was passed out when he called and I called him back but he was passed out so no one took care of me :( haha.

Today I have been listening to the same song over and over. It's by a band called Loyalist and the song is called You Can't Mean It Twice. Dave showed it to me when he was here the other night, he has the best taste in music and always knows what I'm going to love. Dave also does backup vocals on this song that I'm loving. I'm finding parts of the lyrics very relatable. Here they are:


i'm trying to be good, your hand fits like a glove in just the way i knew it would, i've been busy losing everything i've got trying to impress you when i've only come to know you as a first name and inital as i played the devil's music.

i got that feeling in my gut where i know that somethings wrong with me, i just cant shake it off, and you're no good at pretending. breathing heavy on your back, let's just get on with this routine. you're trying to be honest but it's just not making sense to me.

you found me out, go spill my secrets. shed your stupid tattoos, none of your friends believe them and i lost touch with god, now i can't get away with anything while we're out on the front, still fighting for our privacy.

as you're pulling off your dress, that look kills spirits and intentions. and a crush i shouldn't have, but i do so many stupid things that something bad is bound to happen. i could be anything at all, but this is one thing i can't have.

all my best attempts to win you back did nothing, but i've never been content, i had a lot of fight still left in me. those days when we got hurtful, and you got boring in bed, right before we just stopped talking 'cause everything had all been said.

so let me start again, i think i made the wrong impression and i hate wondering if i did. i became a new professional, contagious with resentment. you said, "don't let it overtake you..." but babe, i think i let it.

*dave sings ooooohs in his amazing voice*

but you can't mean it twice, but you can make it right if you want to.

so wake up. i need a miracle if i'm supposed to wake up.

you're not allowed to stay in my bed, and tell me you're happy, and then leave the next day and say it was nothing, no.

so wait up, i thought i could but i know i can't keep this pace up.

you're not allowed to touch me like that and kiss me in that fashion just to keep me in your pocket and then say nothing happened.

don't say nothing happened.



Hmmm story of my life just a little bit! Some parts anyways. Jess I know you're reading this and I think you will like these two songs, the one I just wrote about and another one by the same band called I Shot Somebody. Go to http://www.myspace.com/loyalistcanada give it a listen. The band doesn't even exist anymore, it's a shame.

Anyways, I'm off today so I'm sitting around for the day, if I can work up the energy I'm going to clean up the house a bit. Later tonight Justin's going to come and spend the night. I like it because it's so comfortable that if I'm sick and throwing up and look like a dirtbag I don't care if he sees haha. That's why I chose him to hang out with tonight. I want to watch Sin City again, he always lets me pick the movie so that's most likely what we'll end up doing, and depending on my tummy, maybe we'll eat some fruit salad and drink juice. I don't think I'll be getting high tonight because I just don't feel like it.

And there are my thoughts for the day, I've been posting huge lately.
Have a good day blog readers!